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PromisedxDreams
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Name: Jean
Country: United States
State: California
Metro: San Diego
Gender: Female
Interests: I love to draw, dance, listen to music, try to write poetry, try to make stories which doesnt make sense sometimes.I like to hang out with my friends and sometimes with my family, I'm also kinda interested into writing songs, and talking on the phone with my friends ^^.
Expertise: Im good at playing volleyball, making new friends,and getting along with people... most of the time.Im also good at listening and helping people.
:P
Occupation: Student
Message: message me
Member Since:
11/20/2004
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| I'mma try changing my layout. =)
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| Days are really passing by fast day by day. =) Lol, really isn't
something I should be somewhat happy over, school is coming up and I
forgot to do some Spanish but ehh.. honestly I really don't think I can
set my mind to do it, from everything going on in here. But hey...at
least school will take my mind off my family.
But on Wednesday my brother turned 18, lol things
didn't really go so well he wanted to visit one of his friends so then
he asks me for gas money.. So I give the happy boy $20.00 he leaves so
then my mom comes home not too long after, asking me where was my
brother I told her he went to visit some friend with Tyrell<He's my
cousin>.. so then hours pass, he calls asking if dad was home and if
he can pick him up because Tyrell never came by to pick him up lol. I
thought it was funny at first but ehhh just caused' more stress on the
whole situation... so then I call up my dad asking him to pick Earl up
< My brother> my dad told me to tell Earl yes. Nothing went as
planned.. my dad tried calling Earl's friend's house but no one was
answering they were staring at the phone as it rung, but anyways my dad
got pissed because he didn't know what street they were on. A few
minutes later he calls me yelling about his car breaking down on Mir
mar rode trying to find Earl.. so then Earl freaks out because my dad
wasn't answering his calls.. but the thing is he was calling the wrong
cell number, but bleh He had to spend the night at his friend's house
-which is a girl, his ex who I really dislike- anyways.. he calls the
afternoon asking me all these questions that I was unable to answer
because I had no idea what was going on, so I hang up with him my mom
comes home a few minutes later looking pissed.. so I asked her what was
wrong she was mad at me for not answering the phone earlier in the
morning when I was sleep.. but ehh she could have left me a message or
something. =/
The reason she wanted me to answer was to tell Earl he could catch the
bus.. he didn't want to catch the bus and he missed work because he
didn't want to walk a few minutes down the street and get in the bus.
Blah blah.. Hours pass my dad picks up Earl after work around 9pm...
that guy came home with this cake that looked like poo everything was
brown. Other colors would have been nice but hey? Lol.
My mom was staring at the cake, Earl told my mom it was some cake that
his friend have... that's what I don't understand. It was a birthday
cake and if it was a cake from his friend's house why take the whole
thing with you? Lol. She was kind of mad that girl gave Earl a birthday
cake and stuff, I mean yeah I can understand I mean.. missing your
son's birthday due to a mistake he did and not being able to see him
for 2 1/2 days and he comes home with a cake?
Eventually I talked to my mom about still getting a cake, soo that's where Saturday takes place..
Well.. on Saturday I had a dentist appointment, needed to get a cavity
cleaned , filled the basics really.. so then I get poked in the gums
with the needle blah all that stuff right when my Dentist Mrs. Willard
was just about to finish.. my dad comes out of nowhere.. like poof not
through a door or anything, just magically there.. any who while she
was working on my tooth my dad was laughing with other patients
there and assistances there... he was going in and out of the room I
was in and my mom just glared and him when he kept going in and out my
dentist kept getting distracted so she accidentally cut my gums a
little' with the scrapper, I didn't know anything til' she said
something about numbing my gums more because I was bleeding where she
was working at. When everything was done the numbness wore off all that
stuff my bottom mouth was sore I couldn't talk or anything. Lmao I was
drooling a lot, I had a lot of tissue against my lips though. xD So it
wasn't that bad. So we drove down to the store getting things for the
weekend.. when we left and loaded everything in the car everyone was in
besides me, I put one foot in and I was about to sit down and place my
other leg in I was still halfway outside the car... my dad presses the
gas and I had to hit hard on my dad's seat to get his attention because
he almost ran over my leg for the second time.. I know the first time
could have been a accident.. but it happening twice in 1 month? Com'on.
Lol I was hella pissed while sitting in my seat, all he told me was I'm
sorry I didn't see you I was worried about the car overheating.. Which
was messed up.
x.x; We get home my brother Tony.. comes up to me telling me " Uhhh, I
was looking at porn and these pop up came and I clicked them and it's
messing up the computer." I just stared at him for a while then the
computer, The thing is the type of porn he was looking at was Hentai
porn, which I thought it was really nasty and disturbing at the same
time.. but then I really didn't know why I should fix the computer or
try to fix it if he's going to continue looking at animated porn..I
know he doesn't really know what he's doing.. I couldn't yell at him or
anything I wouldn't do that to him..he's special ed but he can
comprehend well.. he just repeats himself sometimes.. and he just needs
help sometimes. Earl he is kind of special like he doesn't think really
before he do certain stuff he was only in a few regular ed classes
because he understood some classes, such as math and history., just I
need to block those sites he always go to in order to keep this
computer from viruses such as that shutdown one.. I was kind of upset
when I had to reboot the whole computer because I wasn't able to save
any of my work or files I had saved on this computer. But eh it's over
and done now.. I got to learn to save my stuff on disks and stuff like
that. ^__________^ - Oh yeah this morning Tony ate the cake, so we
didn’t get a chance to have Earl blow out the candles.. He didn’t want
to do it anymore because half the cake was gone and kind of ruined the
tradition-
As for my dad.. he's special as well, but his family didn't put him in
any special ed's because they didn't think he needed any help or was
struggling in anything.
Certain things he says and do.. his threats it scares me I know I can't
do anything really about it. Some of the reasons why he is still living
here.. is partially my fault.. my mom when I was young didn't want me
to grow up without a father-figure sort to speak.. but either way it
isn't worth having to deal with someone who is a threat. But bleh.. as
soon as my mom commits him, I'm just going to have to deal with him
until then or until he moves, and not let him get to me.:)
Things are not worth falling apart over.
What really is soothing to me is rain or just the moon - I know that
sounds crusty lol but still good- but back onto what I was
saying, but just sometimes when you set your mind on something else
that’s quiet and you feel ok with just spacing out to that certain
thing, just makes you feel relaxed like I am with the moon. Sometimes
when I can’t sleep or if I’m stressed over something, I would usually
go outside in the backyard and just sit there looking at the moon or
just think about certain things. ^_^
As for Anthony, he's doing okay I think he didn't have a ok week last
week. x.x; but it turned out fine we talked more this time over texting
then last week which was good lol, I know this is kind of ehh.. but I
don't even know when is our date of getting together.. because I know
we started acting more like a couple a month ago.. but you know the
date really doesn't matter, I mean yeah it would be cool to know how
long you have been with someone. Just having that feeling you have for
that person makes, the love and that trust makes dates and time doesn't
make me love him any more or any less, the on going feelings I get when
I'm around him and he's around me makes him love him daily.. =)
Lol sorry guys moment but pshh. :P
Ooooh and one more thing before I stop typing - I promise ^.~ -
I was watching the Vma awards earlier.. and They had Mike Jones and
that other guy with the nasty lips Paul wall lol or something like
that, him and mike Jones remind me of teddy bears it's just Paul's lips
are scary and Mike likes to repeat his lyrics a few times. xD But
people like it so that’s good. And good lord. x.x; I saw Hilary Duff
with her boyfriend I think he's from simple plan or something that, and
when they were presenting some award she looked soo scary.. you can see
her blush on her cheeks mostly her face was all smashed up. x.x; She
was pretty but I guess fame makes you very curious and do things. Just
bleh.
Buttttt I should get going or look at some movies til' I fall asleep, goodnight all sweet dreams. =) Many hugs.
<3333
Jean
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| I really do miss him...
Even if we may talk through text messaging and sometimes on msn..I miss
just speaking with him on the phone like we do daily. I know talking on
the phone isn't such a big thing but I've gotten use to the fact of
just talking to him mostly all day and through the night, but now it's
just random text messages. I miss our conversations and just everything
about him, lol I know I'm ranting on about how I'm feeling over this...
really can't help it.
Lol you know how you have this sudden urge to just call someone or out
of nowhere talk to them, to see if they're all right... or just the
fact that you missed that person and wanted to see if everything was
okay, but didn't want to seem all scary? I wanna do that.. just pick up
my phone and bam call him.. but I don't want to scare him. x.x;
Things now feel different, we bearly text each other it's usually out
of nowhere. Just hopefully I get to talk to him like I use to again.
But bleh.. enough with what I feel.How is everyone? Haven't written in my xanga in over a month or so. : )
Write some more some other time. Byes ^________^
Night nights as well
<33333333333333 Jean | | |
| I don't think I'm going to be coming on msn for a while. Or something.
Edit?
I hate lying to Kris..I don't want to tell her I'm crying..-.-; I feel like shit even though I shouldn't..I just want all this drama everything to go away... just I wish I didn't find any of that out but in a way I'm glad to have known it, because at least...ay nothing was really the truth or was from the heart was just some sick game..I talked to Ant about it some when I first found out and he told me to just move on it's the past.. and I shouldn't be stressing over it. Just what hurts the most is knowing someone's feelings for you was a lie.. and it wasn't true in the begining. I just need to get over this crap.. but it's hard to let go. God my eyes are sore as hell..
Im off to bed.. goodnight everyone sweet dreams.
<333
Jean | | |
| Then like yesterday was crazy. Lol I was pissed off at certain things and left msn. I came back on because Kris threatend me. >.> Lol and talked things out with him and me and him settled things out. But I don't know I just want him happy, and not be all weird because I'm around I know he is happy around her and all that stuff basically I'm just lost.x.x; and confused along with some more lost. Then like I talked to Ant about it and he said I should give him space but he told me he doesn't want me to avoiding him or anything. So yeah more confusion. Lol then like me and Ant talked some last night til 12 or around the end of 11 o' clock, we talked about things lol then Kris comes popping out of nowhere asking me this question lol :P I told her I wasn't sure because um he likes another girl? Then I was wondering how that question came up out of nowhere so I ask Ant and he told me her and him were talking about it lol. I wanted to know his answer, first I guessed and he said maybe but didn't answer he told me to ask Kris lol I tried asking Kris but I think I confused her with my question. x.x; So then I ask Ant and he told me his answer and it shocked me some. ^___________^ But me and him are just going to have things like the way it is now even though we know each other's answer. >.> Lol
And like tonight I'm suppose to call him with Kris on the phone and I'm nervous as hell. x.x; Lol But I guess I'mma have to wait until tonight at 9. ^.^ Lol write back in later all byes. xD
<3333
Jean | | |
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